Fear, it erodes some of the strongest foundations

I was one of those kids that given the choice between fight ad f light, I took flight.  I lived most of my life in a state of fear.  I was afraid of being misunderstood, what others thought, looking stupid, being stupid, you name it I was afraid of it.  I have journeyed a long way in the area of fear.  Today things don't spook me as quickly as they used to.  I have learned to pause, assess what REALLY is true, and take my time processing before taking.  I got to a place where I could make decisions and just move on and not care about all the emotional bloat that my fears were causing.  Then I became viually disabled, or at least more severely disabled than I had been.  Guess what, the fear is back.  It is differeent, but it is back.  I am afraid that I am unemployable, that I'll miss something critical because I can't SEE it, and a whole myriad of unnamed terrors.  Last night we had the power go out.  And while on the surface not a big deal, but for me it means COMPLETE darkness.  I don't see subtle lights and even a small light doesn't help me to see anything.  My first response was lock the doors immediately followed by "find me a stinking flashlight'. The fact that I had a CO detector going off steadily didn't help matters.  It was one of the moments that I had to pause and keep myself frrom yelling at no one in particular "Everyone just CALM down".  Yeah, hey captain obivous, everyone WAS calm until you FREAKED out.  It is a process and I am sure I'll get better.  But for now, Xcel, please keep the lights on I am a little edgy and someone find me a 9V battery for this STUPID carbon monoxide detector.