I went to the retina specialist today. Scans look good. There are no bleeders.
Yippee! Then I cautiously ask/state “I
am getting an injection today?.” To
which the reply “I thought we had this conversation”, “I am not comfortable
letting you go without treatment”. The
only way I get to go 12 weeks between appointments is to agree to an
injection. Which at this stage of the
game, I would rather not visit the Eye Center any more frequently than is
absolutely necessary. Then I ignorantly asked--basically I really should have
just shut up here and not dug deeper, but nooooo I had to ask the next question
on my mind--“So how long will I be getting injections every 12 weeks?” Seriously, I am a sucker for punishment. The answer came back “Until the drug stops
working”. Oh and did I stop there, no I
kept going because I was on a roll. Well
that brings me to the question “Does it stop working? And I don’t think I want
to know the answer to that.” The answer
came, despite my saying I don’t want to know. “Yes, Avastin eventually stops
working, regardless of your condition that you have. Avastin eventually stops
working for ALL patients. Seriously?
HELLO? Did you not get the “I really don’t want to know the answer”
statement? Wow, way to pop my bubble of
denial.
I guess this is where I get to practice everything I have
learned over the last several years. I
have learned to live only in today and not worry about tomorrow. I can’t predict the future. I can’t make
decisions based on future ‘possibilities’. All I can do is be grateful that the
drug works today, that I have the vision I have, and to live my life to the
absolute fullest each day regardless of what the future holds. Carpe Diem! Ok, Carpe Diem tomorrow, I am tired and my eye
hurts. J
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