Are you or are you not a control freak?

If you want to determine if you are a control freak (CF), I would recommend having children.  You might have been just a weekends only CF, but in the presence of children it is for all to see.  The glaring reality that you are a CF starts when your children are at a young age. It is when you think, as a mother, that you can control when and what they will eat, how and when they use the restroom, or when, how, or how long they will sleep.  I love those moms who think they have all the above mentioned totally figured out.  (Silent giggle) They are delusional, see previous post on positive thinking.  Then the children get older, more willful, and wiser.  This is the time the CF think they can manipulate, coerce, threaten their children to do school work, chores, get up in the morning (yes, that is a repeated theme), and make wise friend choices.  Those of you seasoned CF’s out there KNOW what I am talking about.  You plot, plan, scheme and then when it comes time to deliver you are left standing there saying “wow, I didn’t see that one coming”.  I am going to tell you a secret.  No one can truly control anyone else.  You are powerless over their choices.  Unfortunately, when it is our children it is PERSONAL.  It seems like it reflects on our parenting skills, education, how we were raised and our very essence. I have not mastered this in the least.  I have learned to cope with it by using a God Box.  A God Box is a box of any kind where you can write on slips of paper EVERYTHING you can’t control, but desperately want to and stuff them in.  Then once or twice a year bring out the box and read through what you have given Him.  I have found a good 85% of the stuff is either resolved or I am not uptight about it anymore.  I toss those in the trash and keep anything that is still eating my lunch.  No matter how much energy I expend, the child will do what he/she will do.  They will make mistakes and they have to learn from theirs just like I had to learn from mine. I am not powerful enough to mess them up but I do have the choice to be a solid voice of encouragement or the whiny voice of irritation.  I am trying to choose the former, even if my kids think I am the latter.  Oh yeah, I guess I can’t control what they think or feel either.