Driving priveleges

I guess I am a hair resentful of the fact that some people can be pretentious and fake. Dealing with a disability pretty much strips you down to your core.  You have no choice but to humble yourself and ask for help, accept your faults (they are seen anyway), and be who you really are.  If you put up fronts and live behind masks and want to know just how totally exhausting that is to keep up, go low vision. Your whole life and how you live is suddenly on display for all to see and you no longer have the luxury to fake it. I finally got an appointment with the Center for Neuro-rehabilitation.  I don’t have a neuro problem, though some of you might disagree. Either way, the Center for Neuro-rehabilitation is the organization who will judge whether I am worthy capable of driving. So you want to talk about faking it, I had to go to the DMV today and pull my driving record, without being obviously low vision. The gentleman took my $2.20 from me and handed me my record while saying “This is the kind of record we like to see”.  There is nothing on my driving record.  This is one of those difficult things where the doctors have told me I am o.k. to drive and I, lacking all confidence, am left to wonder whether they are completely off their rocker or not.  I, being the “rule follower” that I am, want someone to deem me “safe”.  I don’t want some minor infraction and be left explaining how I have an unrestricted license with low vision. I could see it now, “uhm, officer could you show me where I need to sign, I can’t see the line.”  The truth is I don’t drive unless I feel that conditions are safe.  I have already restricted myself in all the areas that I don’t feel safe.  I don’t: drive at night (for some 3 years now), go to areas I am not familiar with, nor drive in high volume traffic areas.  I wouldn’t dream of getting on the roads in the Bay Area. However, I could care less if driving is taken from me.  In some respects I would welcome it wholeheartedly.  It would be one less stress and one less worry. It is the beauty of acceptance.